Tuesday, November 10, 2020

just UGH

I wouldn't say I'm recovered. I'm not sure that the word recovery is even meaningful for this disorder.

I would say that I've made a lot of progress towards owning my feelings and my actions. I can draw a diagram and provide oodles of context for my feelings and actions. I have slowed down enough to interrupt many of my major blow ups and minimize the ones I can't interrupt.

It's been a while since I've been seriously activated about living with borderline personality disorder. It's been long enough that I thought I was through with being activated by it.

*kicks rocks*

About that...I was totally wrong.

I am trying to hold compassion for myself and love myself through this time of activation. I'm not doing a good job of it. I have taken myself right back to the time when I felt so broken and so stupid. I attempt to hold compassion for my prior self. It's a bit easier, I know more things and better things now.

I don't think recovery is a word that applies to me in this context.

I have made progress.

Now I know there is more progress I need to make.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading! I'll review your comment within the next 3 days.

If you are using comments as a way to fish for information on me or my partner, you'll be ignored.