2015

This is a new year. My personal new year started Wednesday. I have completed 41 revolutions around our planet's daystar. I feel more alive than I did when I went on my "last first date" with BadBoy in 2010. I feel more alive than I did when BadBoy and I went to KinkFest 2011. I feel more alive than I did when my daughter was born in 2012. I feel more alive than I did when I married BadBoy in 2013. I definitely feel more alive than I did when BadBoy opened up our first round of marriage counseling with a break up letter in 2014.

Regarding my first date with BadBoy, I called SisterFriend and shouted with glee, "I've gone on my last first date!" Famous last words. SMH.

It was the third relationship to end in the past 10 years. Characterizing the similarities of these three relationships, there are 2 main things that stand out:

1. My libido was light years beyond my companions. They might keep up in the initial throes of NRE (New Relationship "fuck like bunnies" Energy), but then they realized that I always wanted to fuck like bunnies.
2. Once they hopped of the fuck like bunnies train, I would enter the recalcitrant, rapacious, incredibly passive aggressive world of sex starvation.

After BadBoy broke up with me, I decided to follow in the footsteps of my friend, The Femme. She had been recently trying out the poly lifestyle and was seeming to love every second of it. She thought I should try it, too. (Oddly enough, BadBoy had also suggested it months previously, but I was still mired in monogamy at the time.)

Generally, I jump into things and then try them out for a bit. Then I give them up, just as quickly. I didn't want to do that this time around, so rather than coming out as poly, I decided to stick with my monogamous identity and state that I was giving non-monogamy a test run.

I had been chatting with Kyle over at Butchtastic.net to get his advice on high libido, kink, and non-monogamy with kids and a spouse. I had gleaned several things from our conversations:

1. There are plenty of people who are slutty like I am, even if I hadn't met them yet.
2. Envy and jealousy are normal, it's just how non-monogamous folks deal with those emotions that differs from most folks.
3. He is FUCKING HOT.
4. His dirty brain totally turns me on...in ALL THE WAYS.

So this year is the start of what I feel will be an incredible rollercoaster ride. This is what feeling alive feels like to me. Right now, I'm click click clicking up the first hill, feeling like I'm going to pee my pants with anticipation. I have a feeling the ride might be one of those rides that I want to ride over and over and over again.

Cheers to doing new things. Cheers to changing my life. Cheers to living fully in my slutty, kinky, dirty, filthy, and sweet nature.