Infidelity in Polyamorous Relationships

fi·del·i·ty

noun: fidelity

faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.

Antonyms for fidelity

• disloyalty
• faithlessness
• inconstancy
• lying
• treachery
• unsteadiness
• vacillation
• wavering
• infidelity

When our culture thinks of infidelity, they are generally thinking of sexual infidelity of monogamous relationships. In a monogamous relationship, one of the default relationship agreements is that you don't have sex with anyone other than your monogamous partner.

When you are involved in polyam relationships, ideally you would create your relationship agreements with with your partner. Perhaps you would take time to reassess periodically, shoring up or changing agreements which no longer work for you and your partner.

You would think polyam agreements would be easy to keep. After all, you were both clear about what you could agree to, right? However, these agreements are not any easier to keep than any other relationship agreements and these agreements do get broken. When these agreements are broken, trust has been broken. You or your partner has broken faith with what you have created together. Sometimes it is a small thing. Other times it is a big thing. It is always subjective. Regardless, it is betrayal; it is infidelity.

As a culture, we are very sensitive to sexual infidelity, so much so that we forget that there are other ways to betray the people we love.

What are ways you have been betrayed? How have you sorted through it? Did you recover, and how did that work for you? Please comment and share your experiences with me.