Valentine's Day and Romance

I struggled with this day for a very long time. In the years that I did not have a lover as well as the years when I did have a lover.  The ads are filled with red and pink and flowers and chocolates and jewelry and cards and stuffed animals and things sweet, though mostly saccharine.

Romance is so much more than a simple set of items on a to-do list, not that you might know that based on books like “1001 Ways to Be Romantic” by Gregory J.P. Godek and “Relationships for Dummies” by Kate. M. Wachs. Romance is highly personal. The best way to romance your love is by paying attention to the things which are valuable to them. That isn’t always easy if they think they

should be impressed by all the saccharine sweetness. I know I was highly impressed by the saccharine well into my thirties.

Recognizing romance isn’t always easy. When my lover sets up my coffee to brew fresh in the morning, I find it romantic. It is romantic to me is because I can smell the coffee before I get out of bed and be reminded of my lover and his love for me.

Alternately, my lover’s wife put down wood chips in the area where he normally parks at their home AND she drove over them with her car to set them in place so he could use the area to park again. He had been parking on the street for nearly a month because it was so muddy in his usual spot.  THAT is also romantic. She took the time to do something valuable to for him. It was kind. It showed an intimate knowledge of his values.

So remember, romancing your partner is personal, intimate, and loving. Also, romancing your partner can happen year round and not just on February 14th.