“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
― Cynthia Occelli
When BadBoy broke up with me, I felt like was in midst of the complete destruction of my life. All my future hopes and dreams were dashed. I felt betrayed, why did we even get married? Why did I waste my time on this relationship? Why did we have a child together?
Also, I was stuck. I was in a job that no longer challenged me. I became apathetic and depressed. I was unsure how to proceed. I had been watching BadBoy make all kinds of positive changes in her life for nearly two years. I felt envy. I felt lost. I felt misunderstood and unloved.
It has been 5 months since that day that I thought my life was ending. It has taken nearly that long to realize that I am in the midst of a life transformation. I’ve been talking about feeling like a butterfly ready to burst from its cocoon for over a year, like I was right on the verge of it. The truth is the day that BadBoy broke up with me was the day my cocoon started splitting open. It was the day the seed was destroyed and I started to develop and travel further along my path.
As my seed sends out roots and shoots, I begin to see new options. I feel like the blinders are off. I see the infinity of CHOICE facing me. I can work where I like. I can live where I like. It's my life and as long as I make my decisions in love, I can build my life the way I want it. No one else can see the blueprint in my head. I am responsible to live my life, true to myself.
In this moment, I feel fully emerged from the cocoon and my wings are spreading, filling out, getting flight worthy. It is a really exciting (and terrifying) time to be me.
― Cynthia Occelli
When BadBoy broke up with me, I felt like was in midst of the complete destruction of my life. All my future hopes and dreams were dashed. I felt betrayed, why did we even get married? Why did I waste my time on this relationship? Why did we have a child together?
Also, I was stuck. I was in a job that no longer challenged me. I became apathetic and depressed. I was unsure how to proceed. I had been watching BadBoy make all kinds of positive changes in her life for nearly two years. I felt envy. I felt lost. I felt misunderstood and unloved.
It has been 5 months since that day that I thought my life was ending. It has taken nearly that long to realize that I am in the midst of a life transformation. I’ve been talking about feeling like a butterfly ready to burst from its cocoon for over a year, like I was right on the verge of it. The truth is the day that BadBoy broke up with me was the day my cocoon started splitting open. It was the day the seed was destroyed and I started to develop and travel further along my path.
As my seed sends out roots and shoots, I begin to see new options. I feel like the blinders are off. I see the infinity of CHOICE facing me. I can work where I like. I can live where I like. It's my life and as long as I make my decisions in love, I can build my life the way I want it. No one else can see the blueprint in my head. I am responsible to live my life, true to myself.
In this moment, I feel fully emerged from the cocoon and my wings are spreading, filling out, getting flight worthy. It is a really exciting (and terrifying) time to be me.
I sometimes experience difficulty sharing my journey with people who are aware of or witnessed my caterpillar life. I don't always feel confident that I can shake free of the shame associated with my caterpillar life. Today I claim it. I claim my shameful parts and love them. I know I will do better tomorrow. I grow in love and kindness every day.
I feel very privileged to be here to witness your seed cracking open and to watch the creative destruction that is going on right now. CHOICE is a wonderful thing.
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